Childhood

There was once when I was in Primary 2, I didn't manage to finish my homework on time. So my form teacher brought me with her to her Primary 4 class so that I can finish it while she had her lesson. I stared at the big gor-gor and jie-jie having lessons quietly. And noticed paper models at the back of the classroom and their notice-board full of colourful papers. At that point in time, I thought they were very intelligent.

Those times, all my classmates lived very close together (most still do now). During every mid-autumn, we would go to the playground to burn our candles and lanterns. And I would return to the very spot the next day and get very amazed that all the wax had been removed.

Everytime I lie in my bed, I would put my ear to the wall and try to listen for the movement of the lift-cars in the lift-shaft that is just behind the wall. When the first wave of lift upgrading was done in my flat, where they changed the lift-car doors to those with glass panels, I was too scared to face the door after I enter the lift because I feared seeing faces among the bare bricks where the levels have no lift lobby.

When we had Monday assembly in Sec 1, I always wonder how did the Sec 4 and 5 go up to the gallery. And when the mass dispersed; I was curious where they go to.

When I first heard that there is a rifle range in our school, I imagined it as a gigantic room craved out from the hill that the school is sitting on. (Note: The previous Commonwealth Secondary School sits on a 4-storey-high hill. The compound is occupied by Hong Kah Secondary currently.) And I thought that the access is through a hidden door on the slope facing the field. When I finally found that the rifle range was in fact the underground band room (that I eventually spent 4 years in), I thought it was a mysterious labyrinth with countless exits and secret tunnels that would lead me to every corners of the school.

During the SARS period, I questioned why the NJC main gate is not opening towards Dunearn Road. And precisely, I had to make long trips through the private estate to get to my bus-stop very night. During those nights, I urged to walk into the abandon building near the gate. I thought I could meet some ghosts there.

Whenever I was doing my JC tutorials, I would wonder why we have to learn quantum physics, organic chemistry, complex numbers, matrix etc. I never get my answers (to my tutorials and questions) even years after I graduated with my double Science and double Maths. In fact I can't even recall how to do trigo nor guess "photosynthesis" in Charades now. I used to love Physics. But now, I need others to remind me what "SHM" is. Simple harmonic motion aka oscillation.

Now, I realize childhood is nothing but a fantasy with endless questions that I never ask. It will remain a fantasy because the journey to search for the answers and the naive notion that I even asked these questions are much satisfying than discovering that they all meant nothing in the end. Fortunately, my childhood is still present in my little space where papa, mama and gor-gor still treat me like a child. They laughed at my foolish actions and pulled my leg, literally. There are butts for me to kick. And idiotic faces that cheered me up so well that I forget to push them away.