Helpless Kid

Monday, May 9, 2005 0 comment
Red and Yellow and Pink and Green
Purple and Orange and Blue
I can sing a RAINBOW
Sing a RAINBOW
Sing a RAINBOW too
Met QJ on the overhead bridge outside NUH this moring. Gave me a punch. Ouch!

Same old QJ who's coming for physio-therapy. It's was not a surprise for me since I read his blog occasionally. But don't know he realized that or not. Everytime I read his blog, I'll feel that I'm one step further from my past, my past at Commonwealth. When I read the stories about the choir, Lionel, Xinyi... I sense that I've missed some 'episodes' of them. Eventually, it overcome me that I am not part of the cast anymore.

Seeing QJ also reminds me of his mum. I was at NUH with my mum.

Since I learnt to be independent, I've grew to understand more of my mum, and become more helpless.

When I make wishes for her, I'd never hope that she'll be 'chang ming 100 shui', because I know she would be suffering in silence behind us. Or maybe I should pray that she'll 'shen ti jian kang'? But I understand that she would never recover. That explains my helplessness. To me, nothing can make me brood over more than seeing my mum suffer.

I never wish for miracles. They are just excuses.

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